Anytime we take up a new hobby there are potential pitfalls that come with learning…eating pussy is no exception to this rule! If you are new to giving women oral pleasure there are many guides on how to quickly become an expert. Just walk through the sex aisle of any bookstore and you’ll see guide after guide about how to give a lady the big O using your mouth.
These guides detail how to use your tongue on the clit. They describe how you should suck, lick and penetrate a pussy with said tongue. Yet, there is not one guide, one article, one warning that I’ve ever encountered that truly details what step number one truly is before your mouth heads down south. Unfortunately, I had to learn rule number one of eating pussy the hard way…
Rule number one of eating pussy…
Always Do The Finger Test FIRST!
Never. Ever. Ever. Go down face first into a woman with whom you have not had sexual relations before without doing the finger test because if you do you might be coming up wandering what that taste you can’t get out your mouth is.
“What is the finger test?” You ask.
Well, simply put it is taking one finger inserting into the vagina and somehow discretely getting it close enough to your nose to sniff. Yes! Think Scratch & Sniff…but then take it one step further…if the finger comes up clean for smells…go ahead taste it too.You must also taste it because checking for taste is the last vital step in this test.
If you are new to eating pussy or have smelled/tasted one too many pussies that you wish you hadn’t then you need to employ the finger test from now on. Let my mistake be your guide you don’t want to end up with a mouth full of Mahi Mahi served raw in the worst way ever.
A recap…how do we check to see if a vagina is good enough to eat?
We do The Finger Test.
What is The Finger Test?
- Insert one finger into the vagina you have chosen to satisfy orally.
- Discretely bring said finger towards your nose to sniff.
- If finger is free of smells, insert the finger into your mouth and suck it to check for taste.
If a lady can’t pass a finger test…run to the nearest exit. Ladies, it’s okay you can do self finger test next time you are having a good masturbation session. Good pussy is tasteless and odorless. Good pussy produces tasteless, odorless juices that are clear in color. Females that can’t pass a finger test should see their gyne doctor as soon as possible.
This has been a PSA brought to you by the letters WTF!
You’re welcome!
To read my shameful story of pussy eating gone wrong be my guest click here.
