Wrapping up this month’s topic…Can friends become lovers?
How many of us have had friendships with someone then started having sex? A lot.
It was very easy for me to define Fuck Buddy and B.U.D.D.Y. but defining a friend that becomes a lover is not something I or anyone can do for you. I’ll let you define what this means to you because the truth about this sort of relationship is…that it is going to be different for everyone. Not only do I not have a definition for you but I have absolutely no guide for you on how to navigate these rough waters. Merging out of the Friend Zone into the Homie Lover Friend lane is tricky and more often than not it leads to failure but not always. When it does work it works because both parties are honest with one another AND themselves about what they want.
My advice for you is be honest and communicate!
Be honest with yourself about your motives, intentions, desires, needs and standards. Don’t get in your head let that inner dialogue begin which sells you something you know you don’t want. Realize when you are doing it and stop it before you hurt yourself. Playing mental games with yourself only leads to playing them with others and allowing them to play them on you. When you are honest with yourself you can clearly make choices that lead you towards living the life you want including having sex with that friend you are attracted to.
Not only should you be honest with yourself but you should also be honest with your friend. Make your motives, intentions, desires, needs and standards clear to your friend. Communicate with your friend like you would about anything else. Strong friendships can tolerate honesty. Good friends know how to speak to one another without causing hurt. If you were ever good friends before having sex clear communication should keep you as friends no matter where the sexual relationship goes.
Honesty and communication…that is all it takes to not fuck up a friendship by fucking.
