I have some crazy shit popping off in my life right now most of which I don’t want to even think about much less write about for others to judge. The one thing that is really bothering me is my father’s health. He has always been a very strong man. He is 71 and proof that black doesn’t crack because he looks much younger. He has always had a pudgy belly but otherwise has maintained a very strong physically capable body. My Dad had not let his age slow him down one bit. On the outside he seemed fine but I guess on the inside he was having problems that we didn’t know about. As I type this he is home in Florida in his bed resting trying to get healthy…waiting on test results. So, I am a mess here in California because when I spoke to him he sounded like death. I have never heard my father’s voice sound so ill not even when his appendix ruptured and I spoke to him before they wheeled him into surgery.
I’m trying to do my best to get my mind off my problems. I am trying my best to be positive about the outcome of his health and the other problems that I am currently dealing with in my personal life. I am under a lot more pressure than I would care to even admit. In the next two weeks I have to clear up so many things and I don’t know if I will have the time or energy to make it all happen. Like many other people as I begin to work through my problems depression, worry and sadness try to grab a hold of me as to immobilize me. This time they won’t take over. Not today, not this week, not this month or this year. I for the first time in my life have been winning my battle with depression. 2011 has been a great year for my mood but I have been working my ass off to not let it take over. When I start to get down I turn to things that always make me smile.
Here are a few of my favorite things that bring joy into my life even on the saddest days!
- Fresh flowers filling my house! – When I am especially down I make sure that I have flowers throughout my house. I usually always buy fresh flowers on Sunday afternoon when I go food shopping for the week. I always keep fresh flowers on my dining table but when I am down I get a few more dozens. I take my time putting arrangements together and spreading them in spots around the house where I spend most of my time. Flowers can be expensive but if you have a Sam’s Club or Costco near you then you can get four dozen roses for around $40. If you’re down smelling and seeing beautiful flowers throughout your house will be worth every single penny.
- A re-reading of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – Need to escape from your problems? There is no better way than to escape into a fictional story that is full of joy and hope. When I am really, really down I am known to pick up, The Alchemist, a quick easy read that is all about a happy ending. This novel reminds me that even when all the shit is hitting the fan my purpose on this planet will be served. It is in our hardest to live through moments that our heart’s speak the loudest to us…we just have to listen…this book taught me many years ago that listening to my heart is the key to life. This book is so important to me that I bought the Nook version so I could have it in the Blackberry app in my hands at all times.
- Getting outside into nature with my sons! – My sons bring me an immense amount of joy even when I am at my lowest. Their smiles, hugs, kisses and kind words lift me each and every single day of my life. When life has me between a hard place and a rock I tell life to fuck off and I head outside with the three humans I love the most in this world. We go for hikes in Mount Diablo, we go for walks through Muir Woods, we go for bike rides at local parks, or spend the day at a zoo. There is no better cure for a mother’s blues than watching her child(ren) laugh, play and enjoy the beauty of this planet. Getting outside with them, feeling the sun on our faces and knowing that my problems are big but that God is greater is my favorite thing to do when I am down.
Now, I’m going to go tackle one of the problems on my list that needs to get done in the next two weeks. My house is filled with fresh flowers, “The Alchemist” is set and ready in my e-reader for a re-reading and tonight before dinner I will take my sons for a walk at the park. I don’t know how well I will deal with my current problems but I know that depression won’t win today.
I hope that your hearts and minds are in a better place right now than mine. I also would love to hear what you do to make yourself feel better when you are down.
