For me not getting enough good sex is a deal breaker for a relationship, but I’ve never been quick to quit an otherwise healthy romance without trying to fix the problems in the bedroom. I know that at times women are a bit harsh and might even expect too much from men sexually.
The usual narrative for heterosexual sex is that the men are supposed to take the lead in the bedroom while women are supposed to sit back and enjoy the man’s performance. The alternative narrative among the more liberated is that women also can initiate sex but usually men are still expected to do much of the work after she’s expressed interest in having sex.
In our society men are incorrectly portrayed as these all knowing always horny creatures but the reality is that many men are shy, insecure and timid about their sexual needs. Not all male-engines are revved up and ready at all times – some need an extra hand to get going. I am sure that this isn’t news to some women while others are reading this giving me *that* look. Foreplay for men? Yes. Foreplay for men. Guess what ladies even if he is very much into you…
…Some men perform better if their partners take the time to show them more tenderness before getting into the intercourse part.
Just thinking about him had me ready and wet before he had even come upstairs. Yes, he agreed to having sex the instant that I asked him. Yes, he had gotten hard the minute his clothes were all off. Yes, we could have fucked right then and there but instead…
…I got on my back asked him to straddle my body. I took his hard cock in my right hand and I started stroking him. I made foreplay all about him – touches, kisses and longing looks. After about ten minutes of me tenderly loving him he just had to have me. The sex that followed was beyond incredible. His control better than usual. He reciprocated the love and sensuality I had just shown him by making sure that we were always in rhythm.
During that session of lovemaking, I realized how much he needed, wanted and loved foreplay! *It* wasn’t that great always between us when we got into bed but *it* was great on this day. A few minutes of foreplay had gotten him very excited and so in control that he was able to hold back just until he knew that I was coming and he let go!
After we both had amazing orgasms, I had an epiphany – the sex that followed me giving him foreplay had ALWAYS been better than when he didn’t get it.
Instead of assuming that my hypothesis was true I asked him. I asked him if he enjoyed sex more after me providing him with foreplay. His answer was a resounding yes. He said that foreplay helped him relax, get into it, attain more control of his orgasm and that it built him up for some very powerful orgasms. He told me that he loved the extra attention because it made him feel wanted but that as a man he didn’t always want to seem needy. He didn’t always need foreplay but when it was given he felt like we were more connected sensually.
How completely unfair of me to always expect him to be ready and willing just because I was. How completely unfair of me to not provide him with foreplay just because I wasn’t very much into getting it. How completely unfair of me to screw him and myself out of incredible orgasms because I wanted great sex to be automatic upon penis entering vagina! Yup. I am one of those that is addicted to multiple vaginal orgasms. LOVE THEM!!!
But in all seriousness…
Why is it that in many heterosexual relationships the foreplay is saved for the women? I’ve never been involved in a girl-girl situation in which both my partner and I weren’t providing one another a good amount of foreplay. Not once. Why wouldn’t I do the same for my male partners?
Give that man the foreplay he needs!
Ladies, if you already aren’t the one giving the foreplay, I want you to be the giver the next time you are intimate with your man. I want you to give him all the touching, kissing, caressing, stroking, licking, sucking, tugging, tenderness, forcefulness and passion he can tolerate. Get him so excited that he begs you for the pussy!
Gentlemen, if you aren’t getting the foreplay you need tell her or use one of those social media buttons up top to coyly pass this post on.
I’m off to practice what I preach. I am no quitter. I am determined to make my relationship work as long as he’s also doing the work…
