Getting emails from readers always puts a huge smile on my face. I answer questions all the time but I have been hesitant to post the actual questions and my answers here publicly. Today, a reader sent me an email that was worded in a way that made me realize that maybe it was time to start sharing these questions and answers…especially, since I have answered very similar questions more than once.
Reader Email:
I’m new to your blog, and quite honestly, I’ve become obsessed. You touch on everything that has been on my mind lately, but I do have one request that I’m sure a lot of your readers would also like to know. That would be on the topic of oral sex performed on a woman. I hope that you address the issues of how a woman should look “down there” as well as how to be confident enough to look the man (or woman) in the eyes. Also, what if you’re shy about the way you look down there? Any confidence tips?
I hope you get back to me or write a post on it.
Thank you!
How a woman should look “down there”?
I don’t know exactly what concerns you about the appearance of your lady flower but you can rest assured that if you don’t have any conditions caused by STDs or STIs your genitals look as they should. Many women have discoloration of the labia and uneven labia. As long as the size/elongation of your labia, clitoris or clitoral prepuce don’t hinder sexual stimulation or causes you discomfort during sex then you are perfectly “normal”.
Since I started batting for both teams became bisexual I have learned that just like snowflakes and fingerprints lady bits are very unique. Yes, our parts are essentially all built of the same pieces but each looks a little different than the next. There is no “ideal” cosmetic way to look “down there”. Any man or woman that has had the honor of pleasuring a woman orally knows that they all look a little different but bent over in front of you they all look like a juicy peach ready for the munching.
The other question I get very often regarding lady bits is about waxing/shaving pubic hair. I always tell women that deciding to wax/shave genital hair and how much to remove is 100% up to them. Whether you decide to keep things natural, somewhat trim, very trim or completely bare you should make this choice because it is what YOU are happy with and comfortable maintaining not what a partner wants. Although I do think that if you are in a monogamous relationship changing the look of your pubic hair can add some spice. Yes, trick his or her mind into thinking they have new pussy by changing up your trimming ritual.
What if you’re shy about the way you look down there…how can I be confident enough to look the man (or woman) in the eyes?
I will admit that there have been times that I have felt a little shy or even insecure about looking at my partner in the eyes while they were pleasuring me orally. There are two factors that will determine how confident you are or aren’t when getting oral sex. The first is how confident you are with that person. I honestly can’t help you become more confident with your partner but I can tell you something that might help you some. Your partner will be very turned on if you DO look them in the eyes. There is something very sexy about a woman confident enough to stare back at you when you look up at her while you are tasting her. This is one time when looking down at your partner is not only appropriate but it is what he/she yearns for!
The second factor that determines how confident you are while being eaten out is how confident you are with yourself. In fact this is the most important factor for being confident in any sexual situation. Which leads me to your last question…
…Any confidence tips?
Yes! Masturbate. MASTURBATE. Masturbate to master your sexuality!
I believe that if a woman masters giving herself pleasure she will not only feel more confident sexually but she will be able to help her partner bring her to orgasm more easily plus she will also own her sexuality. Being comfortable with giving yourself orgasms is the first step to being comfortable with a partner pleasuring you. I wrote a pretty dope piece about female masturbation that you can read here. But before you click that…
…Since you asked specifically about confidence tips in regards to how you look “down there” I can’t just send you off to read that post without giving you some final advice. When you masturbate use a mirror! Take your time. Watch yourself from start to finish. Don’t be afraid. Allow your curiosity to roam wild. Don’t be shy. Get extremely playful. Don’t forget to watch yourself in different angles. Use your hands and your toys. Repeat until just the thought of watching yourself pleasuring your lady flower gets you all excited and maybe even wet!
I hope this post helps you and other women that might have the same questions. I thank you for reading and for having the courage to email me your questions. Now go get that full body mirror you usually use to check the way your clothes look before you go out on the town and instead use it to stare at your succulent lady bits as you go to town on yourself!
