Today was definitely one of those days in which I kept taking two steps forward and one step back throughout the entire day. Although days like this result in an overall win while in the moment they feel really rough. While struggling with the moment sometimes I don’t even want to think about what lies ahead of me tomorrow.
I found myself chatting with a friend via text tonight about this very topic. We had to text because we both had so many things going at the time that it was the only possible way to hold a conversation. In that conversation she said that she didn’t know how I balanced being a mom with my other duties. She’s a married woman with no children yet and thought that my load was much heavier than hers. She revealed to me that she thought she would never be strong enough to be a mom because she could barely handle her current situation.
As I finished teaching my son, I thought about how difficult it is being a mom and how overwhelmed I often feel but then I remembered that being a newly married woman with a 40+ hour a week job also was once very hard to balance. Then I thought back further to when I was single, working, in school and trying to date. Yup. That too felt like a juggling act that I would eventually fail at or that I would at least drop a ball here and there to have to start over. I then decided to text my friend back.
While in each phase of life the next phase seems harder especially if we can’t step away long enough to realize that we always find a way to rise to the occasion that is in front of us.
My friend text me back asking if I didn’t think that when my sons got a little older I’d finally have it easy again. I thought about my oldest being just a few years away from driving and a few more away from going to college. To be honest I absolutely became filled with worry. I thought about him being out there in the world without me able to protect his every move and that next phase seemed harder not easier. I kept fast forwarding to different phases of my potential future life as a woman and a mother and as soon as I thought I’d found the easy phase I thought of an obstacle that came with that phase. I was looking for a way to word my new conclusion in my response text but I got caught up cooking dinner. A couple of hours passed and I got another text from her.
I just got off the phone with my mom. I told her my theory about how your life would be easier when the boys got older and she laughed hysterically. I asked her what was so funny and she just laughed some more before she told me that a life worth living has never come easily to anyone…at any phase.
I picked up the phone and called her to tell her that her mother was a genius and that we’d get through it together like we had been all these years. Two steps forward. One step back. Two steps forward. One step back. A jog here. A fall there. Two steps forward.
We laughed then talked about some of our jogs and falls and we decided that today wasn’t as hard as it seemed but we hoped that tomorrow would be more of a jog.
I don’t know how any of us really manage any phase of life…they all seem equally challenging. Getting through each does feel very rewarding even after arriving to the new moment in which things seem overwhelming. I think that’s it…the more you live the bigger shoes we have to fill…growth becomes a constant requirement for success at this thing called life.
What do you think? Are lives worth living chuck full of challenges? Does the next phase of your life ever seem like just too much to handle? Do you think that eventually with enough life experience there does come a time in which it is smooth sailing?
I’d love to hear your thoughts…
