I have yet another confession. This one is slightly more personal than some of the other confessions I have shared with you guys. I am almost embarrassed to admit this. I am only going to admit it because I am wondering where this compulsive new habit of mine is coming from and if I am the only one experiencing this. Well, I better stop beating around the bush…
…I have become compulsive about keeping my lady parts completely 100% hair free. I have been a fan of keeping that region tidy by regularly waxing/shaving it since the mid 90s. Over the last fifteen years or so, I have enjoyed trying new things with the hair maintenance of my mons pubis and labia. Surprising “him” with a new shape that it had been waxed and trimmed into was always a treat for my partners and I. Pubic hair wasn’t something that I obsessed over but it was something that I took pride in maintaining well-groomed.
Then a few years ago, I had this dream about a tattoo of a good fairy on one hip and a bad one on the other hip. I decided that I wanted a huge piece tatted across my lower pelvis from hip to hip and that was around the time when I began to dislike pubic hair. I didn’t like seeing hair growing out of the tattoo. I just wanted to see this beautiful piece of art and my lady bits. This dislike has grown into a severe hatred of pubic hair. I hate pubic hair so much now that half the time I find myself fighting myself not to shave it before it has grown long enough to be waxed.
I just do not like the look of the hair growing out of the skin. I can’t stand the feel of the hair stumble. I don’t like seeing hair on my kitten when I walk by a mirror naked. I hate having sex when there is any type of stubble or hair on it; makes me feel insecure. I don’t even like masturbating or touching myself if I am not hairless down there. I have become so compulsive about killing this pubic hair that I am seriously considering full Brazilian laser hair removal. Yes, I am that disgusted by my own pubic hair that I want to take permanent action to remove it. I want my vajayjay to be 5 O’clock shadow free and ultra smooth!
This is how I feel now about my pubic hair but I know that I might not be feeling that way in another fifteen years. The fact that just fifteen years ago I didn’t feel like that keeps me from taking action that would obliterate the shit out of my pubic hair permanently. The craziest part of my new hatred for pubic hair is that it only goes as far as my own pelvis. Pubic hair on other women or men doesn’t repulse me. Trimmed or maintained longer but neatly doesn’t bother me one bit on other people; I find it sexy.
When I think back to when I kept my own pubic hair in a more natural less trimmed fashion I think about how hot it looked and felt. My mind doesn’t totally hate the sight, feel or thought of pubic hair. What my mind can’t stand is the maintenance of keeping my pelvis completely hair free. It can’t stand the phase between smooth and getting it back to what it should look like. Yes, I said what it should look like. I am a woman and I do think that some hair on my mons pubis and labia is very natural and beautiful thing. If I could just get past the mental block of the look and feel of it as it grows out then I would go back to the way things were before I went completely hairless. If I could only be comfortable with sex without being hairless again then I wouldn’t completely wax it all the time.
Okay, yes, we already knew I was a strange little one but this is really bothering me. I feel that it is some form of self-hate that came from keeping up with standards of beauty set by others. I know I am not grossed out by pubic hair. I in fact think that the feel and look of it on woman’s lady bits can be very beautiful so, why can’t I get past hating my own pubic hair? Why am I so insecure about maintaining anything other than a totally hairless kitty? Why does the thought of sex with hair on my pelvis turn me off so much and make me feel completely insecure? Am I alone on this one?
Am I the only woman that secretly wants to opt for a more natural pubic hair look but is very insecure about it and cannot stand the phase of growing it out?
