I personally think everyone is completely broken. Humans are such needy, emotional animals, that have lost all sense of instincts! My dog is the happiest bastard ever! Me I sit here on my thrown and wonder if I am happy. Now, after days of non sleep…the more I talk to people the more I realize we are all broken.
We have such needs to connect but at the same time we are so protective of not letting anyone too close! I personally have stopped projecting myself as anything other than truly broken. I am ToxicEuphoria and that statement is true of my life. UPS and downs both extraordinary and each unique. I will stop trying to be the person others can love and accept and be the person I can love and accept!
So…as I reluctantly go to sleep I accept that my heart will never feel the same again but my mind and faith can get me past this moment in time. I will find in me what I need to become the person I love…even if it means losing some of those I love the most!
Now on another note can’t wait to go back to FL and finish my tat! Take time away from the Kings and be alone if for at least a few hours just chillin!!! YaY!!! Even the plane rides alone with just me and my iTunes sounds like fun. I am soooooo exhausted from providing for others both emotionally and physically!
So, today’s prayer…Dear, God teach please teach me to say no to others and please help me find a balance between doing what I need for me and for my sons and to not feel guilty for doing either more than the other! Dear God please lemme find my path back to you so that I can get on track with what I need to do with this life you have given me!
