sis, think about what love truly means…

You, are one of the lucky ones who was fortunate enough to have attained a good education, you don’t have a job instead you have a career, you have all the things you need, you even have many of the the things you want and everything else is not far from your grasp, except for that man on your list. Yes, you’re one of those ladies that comes equipped with a “wish list” and to it you stick when it comes to finding your man, without budging about the things you want because anything else would be settling. Well, go on girl! Get that perfect man. Wait! I’d like to remind you that what you want and truly need is to be loved by a good man yet your list keeps your heart closed, locked away from many great men. You’re my friend, I want to see you happily married living the best life for you so, I’m asking you to take a second look at that blue collar man who you keep overlooking. He’s honest, hard working, handsome, faithful, funny, intelligent (despite not being college educated), and he’s looking for a good woman to make his Queen. Aren’t you a Queen? You’re available right? Not to him? Because? Oh, yes because you want your man to be on your level…financially, career wise and educationally. Got it. I know girl, you’ve been telling me for years…you want him to be the Cliff to your Claire.

Still, that man right there is fine, respectful and very ready to court you properly so, why not give him a try?

Here comes my argument…

This isn’t 1950 when behind every great man was a great woman. It’s 2010 and there is no reason why behind you there can’t be a great man. Yes, maybe he didn’t have all the opportunities you did that allowed you to go to college but he is well read, articulate and intelligent. Yes, maybe he works as the head mechanic at the Ford dealership in town and his hands aren’t ever going to be perfectly manicured but his hands only desire you. Don’t those qualities count for something? What are you really looking for a good man or status and money? If it is a good man you are looking for then I think you should take a second and possibly third look at that blue collar man.

So, I’ll ask you again…what is it that you need from a man? Do you need affection, attention, conversation, devotion, passion, and dedication? Tom the manager at the Walmart can’t give you that because? See this is what I don’t understand and before I say another word, I want you to know that I love you girl and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but…that list of yours just ain’t it! I’m telling you this as a woman who HAS been married…I’ve lived and seen what it really takes for it to work and I’ve also lived and seen what can make it all fall apart too. Sit down Sis, listen to me for awhile. What you need is to look for love with your heart instead of that list of yours. You might want to accept that date from Tom because from what I know of him he’s always the one his friends count on, he helps take care of his sick grandmother and all his employees can’t say enough good things about him. Aren’t those the kinds of qualities that make a man a good husband and a great father?

Yes, while we are discussing and sharing can I ask you one more thing? What kind of father do you want for your children? You want a man who is loving, encouraging, supportive, and a fair disciplinarian…yes, I agree those are all great qualities to want in a father. Can you explain to me what about not having a college degree or high paying job is going to stop that blue collar man from being him? Do you want your children to see you happy with a man who is all about his wife and children or are you more concerned with how much money you’ll have in the bank? I’m just saying because I didn’t know that virtues were something that we could ONLY attain by getting a college degree and holding a high paying job. I’m not mocking you or trying to make you angry. I’m speaking from the heart because I love you and I know so many great men who are being overlooked by many great women.

This state of affairs honestly has me concerned. What if one of my sons decides he doesn’t want to go to college for whatever reason? Does that mean he doesn’t deserve a college educated woman like you? What if it was your unborn son you dream of? What if you found the man on your list but then your son decided that his dream didn’t include college or a white collar job? College, high paying job or not…I’m sure you’ll raise a King with virtues who follows his dreams worthy of a Queen. Going by your current logic you’re saying that he wouldn’t be worthy of a good woman who is just like his mother. Couldn’t he play Cliff to her Claire even if he made less money and never went to college? I thought that what we loved so much about Cliff and Claire was how they loved, respected, valued one another, and worked well as a team always doing right by their family. No, I’m not mocking you and no, I’m not playing devil’s advocate for the sake of debate.

I’m sorry, I won’t say anything else but do me one final favor…your friend that one that got everything on her list, yes, Kim, the one going through her divorce…ask her how that worked for her.

© Lidia-Anain July 28, 2010 ~ All Rights Reserved.