Well, I hope that Part One of this Threesomes Guide for Couples helped y’all some. Here we go with part two dedicated to choices you’ll have to make as a couple before actually having a threesome. Ready?
There are a lot of decisions you’ll have to make as a couple in order to take the threesome from fantasy you talk about to spice up your sex life to reality. A threesome sounds like such a yummy fantasy that everyone should get to experience at least once but having been part of several myself I can say that they often fall very short of that fantasy image we each have in our heads…especially when you are functioning as a couple and not just an individual during a threesome! My advice and tips won’t guarantee that things will go well for you but they should at the very least help you make less mistakes.
Here are just some the questions you and your partner need to address before you get naked with a third person.
- WHAT! What kind of threesome will this be? – Are you going to have a female-male-female threesome or a male-female-male threesome? Deciding what kind of threesome you’ll fulfill this time around is the first choice you’ll have to make. Once you’ve made this choice you’ll have to focus on what kind of man or woman would make the right third for you as a couple.
- WHO! Who should you invite to share a sexual encounter with you and your partner? – What kind of man or woman is she/he attracted to? What gets you hot when it comes to looks? When making your choice don’t forget attraction isn’t just about looks. What kind of personality would work well with you both in the bedroom? Are you looking for a third that is sexually submissive or dominant? Do you want to take a walk on the wild side and pick a person that is totally the opposite of the sexual flavor you have now? Which one of you should decide the who? Well, if there will be no same sex playing then the final decision about who becomes the third in your threesome will depend on what type of threesome you’ll be enjoying – if it is a threesome for him then he decides if it is for her then she decides. If you are going to explore your bicuriousity or you know you are bisexual and want to play with someone of the same sex then you’ll also have to make sure that the man/woman that you are inviting into your bed is someone you both are attracted to. Finding someone you both are attracted to can be such a daunting task for some couples. ::sighs::
- Who continued…Is that friend of ours that she/he wants to fuck a good candidate? – I added this question because it comes up for many couples and in my opinion the longer you want your relationship to last the less likely that makes a good friend of yours to be a good candidate for your threesome. It is one thing if you both meet and become friendly with someone you guys fuck as a couple and a totally different thing to make a friend that new lover that shares your bed! If you are a beginner at sex with others please steer clear of inviting your friends to play nude with y’all! This also includes your coworkers, nannies, and even that stud that is your gardener!
- WHERE! As in…Since fucking people we know is out…Where can we meet this third person? – Proposing a threesome to a complete stranger is not something we do everyday and not the sort of thing you’d mention to someone at the grocery store or mall but there are places you can meet others for sex. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again Swingers Clubs are the safest, quickest and most ideal spot for meeting others for sex. DUH! On premise sex clubs are the damn spot to get this done and you can both walk away with a new sexy secret and your anonymity! I have enjoyed some very scandalous times at Miami Velvet…if you get a chance to visit you should even if it is just to let your eyes be curious. If there aren’t sex clubs in your city you can always make a vacation out of this fantasy and head to Hedonism. Yummy! Don’t have leave-the-country type of cash? Why not join one of many sex classifieds sites dedicated to couples and singles looking to meetup for sexual encounters like this one which is great for those living on the East Coast or this one for those living on the West Coast. Please ignore the fact these are often billed as “swingers” clubs, vacation resorts or sites…get over that and know what they truly are happens to be places that consenting adults meet to explore the boundaries of their sexuality and relationships. I’ll say this once…Swingers clubs and sites are much better and safer places to meet the third for your threesome than regular night clubs or Craigslist ads because “swingers” or those in the lifestyle know the rules and live by them! In fact these rules and their desire to avoid drama that could hinder their enjoyment of sex is why at first it might be hard for you to break the ice and shed your vanilla ways.
- WHERE! As in…Where should we do this? Should we actually invite a person into our actual bed that we share every night? – I think that should be a decision you both make as a couple but I am not going to stop from giving you my honest opinion. I think it is an awful idea for any couple new to threesomes to open their actual physical bedroom to a third person. I think that before you share your actual bed you should get used to sharing your sexual relationship with others and be very comfortable with doing so. Hotel rooms make a great place to meet others for sex…hey, what’s better than fucking all over the place and not having to change the sheets after? Yeah, buddy…go to a hotel or do it at a sex club…then when the visual images come back to you it won’t be your marital bed that you see in the visual. So, if things don’t end up going well, one or both of you won’t want to burn your linens, the bed or possibly the damn house. Confession: I’ve never shared my “marital” bed with anyone other than my spouse. I’ve never even had sex with another man or woman in the same zip code where my “marital” bed resided at that time. When we were swinging and when I stepped my hot-to-trot stilettos out of my marriage it never happened in the same zip code. I don’t do my dirt in the same zip code where I’m raising my sons that is my personal rule that I stick to but I don’t judge those that feel comfortable bringing the lifestyle into their homes.
- Why! As in…Why should we even do this? Why should we go through with making this threesome fantasy a reality? - Why? Well, if the idea of having a threesome turns you on so much that you can no longer just keep it at sex-talk then that is why! If this is something that you think you have to try and you feel your relationship could take the bruises that doing it could produce then that’s why trying might be worth the risk. Another great reason why is because maybe you’ve always wanted to have sex with someone of the same sex or in the past you were a practicing bisexual but now you are attached and you don’t want to cheat on your partner. A threesome could be the answer to enjoying/exploring your bisexuality and not risking your relationship through infidelity.
- Why NOT! – This should NEVER be done strictly to please your partner or because you feel pressured to keep your partner. If I asked you why and one of the reasons isn’t something along the line of “I just want to so badly because it totally turns me on. I just want to!” then this is not for you!
- WHEN! As in…When do we know we are both ready to make this fantasy come true? – When you both are completely ready. When you both feel that you aren’t doing this for the other person and you both WANT to do it for yourselves as much as you do for your partner. When you both have talked about all the questions I’ve pointed out in this post and added some more questions of your own AND you both have had time to think about and discuss the answers you came up with. Then have had some more talks about it until having a threesome seems as normal as trying any new activity that comes with some risks like skydiving or cliff diving. When that third person you meet spontaneously or have vetted feels right for you both to bring into your sexual relationship. But most importantly…When you have set boundaries, rules, made your expectations clear and both FULLY consent to going through with this encounter.
- How! L-A tells us how! How should we…? – Not going there with y’all! Use your imaginations. Watch some porn. Go to the sex clubs and lurk a few times to pick up some ideas. I can’t tell y’all how to actually do the deed! I can share a Cocktale or two about threesomes and moresomes I’ve enjoyed and I can also write some great Erotica about the ideas in my head but when it comes to you doing it…you are on your own…or better yet…your partner and you will know exactly how to do it when the time comes. Let your bodies do what they normally know to do but just more of it! Just relax and enjoy!
I’ve given y’all enough tips for now. I can’t stress enough how important the when question is and how having rules and boundaries setup prior to your threesome are huge keys! Please make sure that you communicate clearly, that you both have given full consent to what will go down and that you both communicate after! Don’t do it then forget it because that could hurt the relationship too. In fact in the future I’ll do a Part Three of this Threesomes Guide for Couples pertaining to Rules and Boundaries and a Part Four Talking About The Threesome We Had And Where Does Our Sexual Relationship Go From Here. Yup. Those posts are going to be written but not this week or next. I can’t let all the tricks I have in my sex bag out at once! ::winks::
I hope that you’ve enjoyed these first two guides and that they help you and your partner get the conversations going off on the right foot. Happy fucking! Wishing y’all tons of SexLoveJoy!
