posts tagged ‘sex’

  1. the sexual memory i tried forgetting: victim?! survivor?! neither!?

    May 1, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    This post is part three of a story that began here.

    This story is about how a guy I did not know had sex with me without my permission and I didn’t say anything.

    In this post you’ll get to read about how I felt and approached sex after.

    ***

    victim?! survivor?! neither!?

     A little over sixteen years ago, I had an experience that I carried with me for a very long time before I finally processed it.

    I had taken a shower after he raped me but as my tears ran down my body cleaning my body better than soap and water ever could, my mind decided to put the experience into that secret place so that I could forget and move on. After that shower, I never thought about what happened, I never considered myself a victim, I much less would have thought of myself as a survivor. I didn’t want to think about it; I wanted to get back to being the sexual woman that had never had a bad sexual experience not even in her worst relationship.

    It wasn’t until a little over a year ago, when someone commented on a piece I wrote about choking and rough sex that I realized how my mind had chosen to process this experience that from what I knew most women would react differently to. When the person left the comment she said that as someone that was a survivor of sexual abuse that she didn’t understand how women could enjoy rough sex my response to her comment reactivated the memory of this experience.

    “I have never been sexually abused.” I responded to her comment.

    After I read my response, in black and white on my website, a voice inside of me spoke up and said, “You have been sexually abused but you just don’t want to admit you were raped.”
    (more…)

    Filed Under: diary, sex & sexuality | Tagged: , , ,

  2. the sexual memory i tried forgetting: non-consensual sex

    March 23, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    This post is part two of a story that began here.

    This story is about how a guy I did not know had sex with me without my permission and I didn’t say anything.

    In this post you’ll get to read about how I woke up from a drunken stupor to find an unknown man having non-consensual sex with me, what I did about it and what happened immediately after.

    All names except my own have been changed.

    ***

    non-consensual sex

    I had gone to sleep with my head resting on a friend’s shoulder and I had woken up on a strange couch with an even stranger man with his penis inside of me. Of course a man that doesn’t care enough to wake up the woman he wants to have sex with to ask if she wants it too wouldn’t take the time to pull panties off. It had been a combination of panties rubbing on my inner labia and pain in my vagina that had woken me up.

    At first I thought I was having an awful nightmare and I tried to tell myself to wake up. I did wake up more but the nightmare wasn’t going away. There he still was on top of me, inside of me and thrusting away. I pulled up as much as I could to look around him and I saw that there were three other men and some woman I didn’t know not too far from us on another couch. I could hear the T.V. they were watching. I could also hear Jasmine’s voice, giggles and moans in the distance. (more…)

    Filed Under: diary, sex & sexuality | Tagged: , , ,

  3. the sexual memory i tried forgetting: clubbing with friends

    March 22, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    This is a story that I have never shared with anyone. Not one of my best friends and especially not anyone that I have ever been involved with romantically or sexually. This is the one story which I have always been ashamed of; I put it deep, so deep, into that secret place that I swore I had forgotten about it. I had forgotten that I had tried to forget about it until it came time to teach my oldest son the definition of rape.

    This story has been haunting me again since.

    This story is about how a guy I did not know had sex with me without my permission and I didn’t say anything.

    What happened that night has bothered me always but it especially hurts that I am still afraid to tell this story. I am so ashamed of this that I haven’t even been able to tell the man that loves me most that another man used me, changed me forever and easily walked away probably without any remorse much less knowing how deeply he violated my mind and body.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: diary, sex & sexuality | Tagged: , , ,

  4. during rough times have more sex

    March 6, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    Hard times, problems and stress are things that we can’t avoid forever. We all eventually go through times that are rougher than others, we all have problems that corner us, and we all have our stress limits. These things are universal but how we cope with them varies from person to person. For many avoiding sex while they are going through rough times is standard. It is easy to put off intimacy and avoid being sexual with our partners when we have real life problems attacking us from all sides. Sex doesn’t seem that important when you’ve been laid off, when there’s barely any money in the bank or when you aren’t sure if you’ll be able to make all your bills this month. I have known this kind of stress and too often I’ve fallen back on worry instead of falling into my partner’s arms.

    At times when stress levels reach maximum overload our sex drives slow down.

    There isn’t a person among us that can’t say that at one time in their life they’ve completely lost their sexual appetite due to dealing with life’s problems – if it didn’t go away it at least slowed down or was ignored. Our sex drives are meant to push us towards having procreation sex not recreational sex which is why we instinctively find it easy to avoid intimacy and sex when life is turbulent.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: love & relationships, sex & sexuality | Tagged: , , , ,

  5. Has anyone seen my libido? by Dorothy F. Shaw

    March 2, 2012 by Dorothy F. Shaw

    Grab your coffee, tea or beverage of choice (yes alcohol is allowed) and let’s discuss marital sex, shall we?

    My husband and I were sitting quietly together the other night. We were discussing our sexual life. Our sex life has not been the greatest over the past two plus years. It’s diminished significantly, and as we sat and discussed our sex life, or lack of one, we reviewed our entire sexual history together. What we found was that it had been a roller coaster almost the entire time we’ve been together. This was not a surprise to us. However, it did help us to put things into perspective.

    We’ve been together just over eleven years, and married for the last ten of those years.  Like most couples, when we were first together, we were like a couple of bunnies. We had sex constantly and truly, from the beginning, with the exception of the first time, we had amazing sexual chemistry. We fit together perfectly and always seemed to know just how to please each other. We got engaged after six months of dating and married the day before our one-year dating anniversary. We were both very close to age thirty at the time and wanted to have children. I already had a ten year old and let’s face it the clock was ticking, so we started trying for a baby immediately.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: naked candor | Tagged: , , , ,

  6. Whiskey…What? by Dorothy F. Shaw

    February 29, 2012 by Dorothy F. Shaw

    Have you ever heard the term “Whiskey Dick?”

    If you haven’t then here are several definitions from the Urban Dictionary.

    I always thought “whiskey dick” was when a man had been drinking, usually to the point of intoxication, and was able to get a hard-on but not achieve orgasm, or at least take FOREVER to have an orgasm, which of course resulted in me getting sore after a while.

    “Oh God, will this ever end?”

    The dictionary shows several definitions and many of them say it’s the inability to even achieve an erection. I’ve no experience with that one.

    Today I don’t want to talk to you about Whiskey Dick. I want to talk to you about “Whiskey Clit”. Yes, yes you read that right, Whiskey Clit. Now, to be honest I sort of thought I made this term up (sheesh, what an ego, right?), but low and behold the Urban Dictionary has a definition of this term as well. Huh, unbelievable.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: naked candor | Tagged: ,

  7. To control or not to control? by Dorothy F. Shaw

    February 28, 2012 by Dorothy F. Shaw

    Ladies, are you a control freak? I ask because I certainly know I am.

    I’m in control of many things in my life. I have a corporate job where I am required to be the boss. I make important decisions every day in that job. On a personal level, I manage all our household finances. I make sure the bills get paid. I make the major decisions about what we’re doing with our finances. I do, of course, talk with my husband about those decisions. Usually he agrees with whatever I think is best and goes along with the plan.

    This is not to say that my husband is “whipped” as some people like to call it or that he is weak in some way, he truly isn’t. He has his own brand of control and strength. I just happen to have the stronger, more dominant personality… although he may not agree. You could call me the ‘Alpha-bitch’. Now, you might think with all this dominant blood running through my veins I’d want to be in control in bedroom too, right?
    (more…)

    Filed Under: naked candor | Tagged: ,

  8. plugged into pleasure series – how i lost my partner orgasms

    February 16, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    Orgasms everybody enjoys having and giving them but for many women they are difficult to come by which can be frustrating to their partners that try so very hard to please them. Orgasms were something I never had any problem attaining before becoming a mother – with any man, in almost any position, at any time I knew what to do to get my orgasm.

    I was the go-to friend for tips and tricks about orgasm. The first thing that I would tell my girlfriends was that they shouldn’t blame their lovers for not having orgasms because we as women were just as responsible for our orgasms as our partners. My girlfriends would usually sigh but sit and listen to all my advice about how to achieve orgasm. My favorite line was, “If you want to orgasm you need to be in charge of the fucking!” Most of my girls were embarrassed by that line but they always came back to thank me after my tricks and tips worked for them.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: orgasm & pleasure, sex & sexuality | Tagged: , , ,

  9. highest heels on the entire time

    February 1, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    ***This is a fictional erotic story inspired by reality.***

    About an hour past curfew the knock at the door startled her. She didn’t know who it could be because nobody was supposed to be out of their rooms. She cautiously opened it and saw him standing there shirtless in his boxers with nothing else on but a smile. She definitely felt overdressed still wearing her uniform and combat boots.

    “I’m alone tonight.”

    She thought about what he had said as she stared into his chiseled chest letting her eyes travel down to his perfect abs further down to his boxers and what was leaning to the left in them.

    “Lemme grab my keys and clothes for tomorrow just in case.”

    He laughed and responded, “In case we oversleep while studying like last time.”

    When she walked into his room he was sitting at his desk studying with his back to her. She placed her bag on his bed; he realized she was there. Without looking back at her he asked her if she would quiz him on some terms instead of helping him with his paper.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: erotic stories | Tagged: , , , ,

  10. a woman that loves fucking on making love

    January 31, 2012 by Lidia-Anain

    As the first month of January 2012 comes to a close I am contemplating how I have become a fan of “making love” but still very much a “fucking” enthusiast.

    I used to think that there really was no such thing as “making love.” I was convinced that everyone only fucked but that there were times when the fucking was memorable for a delicate sort of passion that could only be described by those that had been lucky enough to connect heart, body and mind in the moment which people tended to label as “making love.” Not me though I didn’t really ever do that thing they referred to as love making. Well maybe once in a great while I would find myself caught up in doing that but not because my partner or I had set out to do so. In fact, I detested when a lover would declare that they were going to make love to me.
    (more…)

    Filed Under: love & relationships, sex & sexuality | Tagged: , , , ,

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