One of my favorite Twitter friends has just about had enough with love advice. Over the last few weeks she has been popping up in my timeline often angry about the sorry shit that is being passed off as love advice. I always laugh when I see the tweets because I agree with her but I know that until the end of time there will be people giving love “advice”.
So. Here’s some love advice…
…Don’t allow your friends to have a say in YOUR relationship.
You and your love can take care of your relationship just fine without others interfering. My friends that truly know and love me never even ask me how my relationship is doing. They know that if I want to talk about it I will. They also know that if I do talk I’m not looking for advice or solutions just some good old fashioned listening. An open mind and heart with a strong shoulder to cry on is all a friend needs most of the time.
I know that you might have spent many years watching television programs in which women gave one another love advice over cocktails but that’s not real life. Or is it? As a young girl I watched my mother and her friends closely. My mother had two kinds of friends. Ones that talked about their relationships ALL the time and gave my mom advice about her relationship ALL the time and others that didn’t. As a grown woman I can tell you that most of her friends that did the talking aren’t in those relationships anymore and are generally still losing at love. The ones that didn’t are mostly all still in their relationships with grown children that are also in relationships.
Some might argue that the women that rarely talked about their problems might not be happy either. Maybe they settled putting up with the wrongs in their relationships. I’ll argue that maybe they spent their time actually experiencing love therefore they might have figured out how to make it work for them? No? I don’t know but I definitely wish my mother had spent less time talking about her relationship with my father, especially in front of me or at me, and more time WORKING on fixing it. In fact now that I think about it ALL the women that are no longer in their relationships all just sort of stayed in that same shit they talked about until most of the men left them or they found new similar men to move on with.
Here’s some more love advice…
…Love, listen, reciprocate and repeat!!
Don’t we all know what feels right and what feels wrong? Don’t we all have a sixth sense that protects us even from that person that we love the most? Through instinct, listening, trial and error we quickly learn what our lovers need from us. If you think that a book, blog, pundit or friend can tell you better than your love can show you then you are already losing at love.
The only way you’ll ever get love is by giving it. The only way you can be good for the people you love is by listening. The best thing you can do for love is reciprocate it. When all that falls into place all you have to do is repeat.
So. Here’s some more love advice…
Close your browser. Go love.
